she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
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