I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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