just come out here and I will go home with you...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
3pm strippers are depressing
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
