Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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