I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
