If i come over, it means nothing
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
