in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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