Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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