Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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