Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
