"it" just moved
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
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