Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
