please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
