whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
