I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
its liver damage thursday
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
