Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Randomize
