The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
