I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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