This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
actually, I'm a sock model
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
