so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
