she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
