The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
