i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
