It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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