you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
A+ Viking dick
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
