His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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