Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
