You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
