To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
