It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
