Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer

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(330): View more from Ohio

Used tampon in my purse. That from you?

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

well i fucked her too, so yes.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice

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(631): View more from New York

She told me I should be a condom model.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything

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(510): View more from California

It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.

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