I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
