her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
