I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
