a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
