is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
