were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
