now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
