Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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