Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
