margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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