I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
