hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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