They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
