I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
