too bad you live with your parents still
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
