did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
