I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
