i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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