So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
